A New Chapter

I'm currently sitting on the train. This is a usual occurrence for me, but this time I'm on my way to a few days of induction at the University of Exeter, before I start my full-time PhD (funded by the Arts and Humanities Research Council under the SWWDTP). It's the beginning of a new and exciting chapter, but - as someone who finds endings difficult - this train journey is not only a chance to start feeling those churnings of nervous excitement, but also to reflect on the previous five years of freelance life since I finished my MA at Central.

I'll be keeping a couple of my jobs on to start with, as the practice feeds into my research (and I might need some pocket money!), before the Big Move to Devon with my wife next year, but certainly my working life of 11 to 13 jobs (on average) is now a thing of the past. This won't be a comprehensive list, but here's a few of the highlights and low-points of my self-employed adventures...

LOW POINTS

• Anyone who knows me well or is linked with me on social media won't find it difficult to guess what I'll put first here. BLOODY TRAINS!!! It might seem like I go on about this a tad too much, but when you are as reliant on public transport as I am and trying to work jobs spread all over London and beyond, you are basically helpless to the gods of the trains and they don't seem to look too kindly on me. My life over the last five years has involved far too much time looking at the live departures and swearing as trains are cancelled, delayed, and generally screwing me over. For example, last week: I was meant to be running a two hour creative writing workshop in Folkestone for young people who are self-harming. I got to St Pancras station for my connection, just as they cancelled the trains for the next two hours. Leaving me to call work and say I couldn't get there, let the young people down, and lose a day's wages. Leaving me in tears, to be honest. I tweeted Southeastern trains, but it's hard to get across the significance of losing money I needed and letting vulnerable young people down in 140 characters. 
• Not getting sick pay. Cue thought-process: "If I can't get out of bed, I will lose £100... Oh, I really can't get out of bed. Shit." 
• Not getting holiday pay. 
• Feeling guilty when you're not working. Something I've been working on. 
• There aren't a lot of other low points, to be honest. Being paid poorly by some organisations. Last minute cancellations. Being offered a zero hours contract and then never receiving any work from them. Having a contract ended by email. Being made to wear a horrid, highly flammable uniform to go into schools (my wife told me I looked like a work experience student; I had flashbacks of trying to buy trousers for school when you're a 5'11'' teenager. No-one was winning). Setting up a project in a prison and going through security clearance and then never getting another reply so never running it. Worrying about the summer holidays, when all the schools work dries up. Worrying about money. Trying to balance it all. 

HIGH POINTS

• Doing a job where I was running one session a month at an addiction recovery service and, over five years, being gradually asked to come in more and more - once every three weeks, once a fortnight, once a week and finally twice a week - at the request of the service users. And when the service went up for tender, I was the only external contractor who was kept on, as the group wanted me to keep coming. One of my proudest professional achievements.
• All the little moments. The other week, from a sixteen year old girl, grudgingly: "That was actually really helpful." From a participant a couple of years ago: "I thought I was going to hate that and I didn't". 
• Laughter and tears. Chances for both. 
• After working at The Living Room, funded by St Albans council, they didn't want my sessions to end, so they fund-raised and paid for me to come back. Parkinson's UK did the same: the funded sessions finished, so they wrote to their local counsellors and got enough for me to come back for another 6 months. Felt really privileged. 
• When it's all going to shit and you have no idea what you're doing and then you have an idea and you pull it out the bag and it falls together like magic, like that's how you always planned it. And you sort of want to punch the air on your way out. 
• Running the Theatre for Change module at St Mary's University and watching the students grow.
• The people. The funny students. The boy who doesn't speak much English but his physical comedy has you rolling on the floor. The addict who quits. The one who always shows up.

OK, mustn't get emotional. The sun has just come back out and we are about to roll into Exeter, so must go. 

Singing David Bowie in my head and going to start the journey towards Dr Kate. Wish me luck!

2015: stepping up and looking back

2015 is drawing to a close. The world continued to get warmer, the Conservatives won the General Election, the House of Commons authorised airstrikes over Syria, people the world over were killed at the hands of terrorists... It's been an internationally frightening time. Yet, important political campaigns also started, there were also lots of amazing books, films and songs written and made, sporting events I have no interest in happened and people won them, same-sex marriage became legal in the USA and the Republic of Ireland, and scientists made amazing discoveries, including the first new antibiotic in 30 years. And the 'future' also became the past with Back to the Future day. What a year!

So, what have I been up to?

I married the woman I love and we went on an amazing honeymoon to Canada. We got some really bad news. We got some really good news. I sat with someone whilst they slipped out of life. I 'MC-ed' a funeral. I discovered that the reason we keep not having hot water is that the boiler was plumbed in with the pipes the wrong way round. I've taken THOUSANDS of trains, buses and tubes. I've done lots of jobs (old and new). I've made new friends.

Here's what I've been doing in my working life (this can now act as a crib sheet for my wife when I test her on where I work!) - in no particular order:

• Turning Point - delivering their bi-weekly 'Creative Space' for service users on an Abstinence Day Programme, who are all in recovery from substance addiction. I also recently ran professional training for the staff team on how they could make their sessions more creative, which I'm hoping will be rolled out to other teams in the new year. I got one of my favourite pieces of feedback of the year from a participant at this service the other week who, when 'checking out' at the end of the session, said: "Kate, you don't step back, you step up. And that makes us step up too." Gave me the feels. My other fav feedback that day was: "I thought I was going to fucking hate it and I didn't." 
• Attic Theatre Company - running weekly Drama workshops for young migrants to help them learn English and make friends, as well as developing communication skills, team work, mutual respect and empathy. I also delivered a week's summer school (for the second year running) for children who are preparing for the move from primary to secondary school, where we designed Drama-based activities to support them with this transition (such as a giant, interactive game I made up loosely based on Snakes and Ladders).
• Fearless Futures - a new job I started in the summer, as a 'Trailblazer', I first worked on their summer school and then worked with a small group of ten 16yr old girls to discuss gender inequality (locally, nationally and internationally), develop their leadership skills, discuss their aspirations and inspire them to be social activists. It was really moving to read their feedback at the end, as one young woman wrote that she had been being bullied since starting at the school and our work together had given her the confidence to tell her teachers about it. So definitely worth the early starts and three hour round trip to the school! 
  
• Equilibrium - facilitating a weekly group at Clarendon Recovery College with mental health service users, supporting them to produce a quarterly online magazine about wellbeing, with the help of our amazing graphic designer, Anthony. Check out our latest issue.
• 3FF - facilitating interfaith workshops in schools for their education team, including 'The Art of Asking', 'The Art of Empathy', and 'Encountering Faiths and Beliefs', where I facilitate the dialogue between our guest speakers and students; for example we might go into, say, a Catholic school and take a Muslim, an Atheist and a Buddhist speaker, and the students get to ask them questions about their beliefs (I love those sessions).
• Family Lives - continuing to work on their TeenBoundaries project, delivering Sex and Relationship Education in secondary schools - particularly focusing on sexual bullying, self-esteem, consent, sexting, porn, and healthy relationships.
• Future Creative - another new job, delivering Drama-based workshops, which has already taken me as far as Lincoln, to run a day of workshops on immigration, and Birmingham, for a Roald Dahl day.
• Inner Drive - another new one (one can't have too many zero hours contracts), running education workshops drawing on neuroscience to teach young people life-skills.
• 

  St Albans Arts - continuing to deliver Creative Writing workshops in St Albans. The project I'd started in 2014, first working with Mind in Mid Herts and The Living Room, then Albany Lodge (an inpatient psychiatric hospital, which proved a logistically challenging context to work in), culminated in May 2015 with the publication of an anthology of their work, Tell Me on a Monday. Then for the next phase of the project, I delivered 'Write it Out': workshops for people with/supporting people with Parkinsons, in partnership with Parkinsons UK (who are funding me to come back and work with them again in the new year - yay). I also presented at Creative Hertfordshire's 'Art of Wellbeing' conference and did some group writing with the delegates. I'm now really looking forward to working on an Arts on Prescription project in partnership with Trestle Theatre Company in the new year.
• The Living Room - after delivering Creative Writing workshops there funded by St Albans Arts, I was really pleased to be invited back for two sets of eight more sessions with the service users, all in recovery from various addictions. It's been really interesting working with people whose addictions aren't only substance-based, and has really made me reflect on my practice.
• Coopers Hill - I've been doing some consultancy in the form of Creative Direction and Partnership Strategy for the lovely Peter Rabbett, supporting the evolution of a new centre for Creative, Digital and Performing Arts at Coopers Hill in Bracknell. It also meant I got to meet one of my educational heroes, Sir Ken Robinson, at the Festival of Education.

  

  Me and my "new best friend", Sir Ken

• I've done a few more bits and pieces for the Southbank Centre, including running a two-day workshop for the Festival of Love, in the place of Jodi Ann Bickley (who was unwell), called 'one million lovely letters'. This is a project designed to send 'a hug in an envelope' for anyone who needs one, and so I spent a couple of days helping people write and decorate letters to strangers, old and young, near and far, who might need to know someone out there cares. 
  
  I also came back for a second year to do some early morning 'speed mentoring' in the London Eye for their International Day of the Girl celebrations, which was again a complete privilege. Watching the sunrise over London, whilst talking to young woman about their ambitions, worries and dreams, might be one of the very best ways to start the day. 
  
• Another little, but very moving, work-thing I did earlier this year was for Jennifer Lunn at Culturcated Theatre Company, when I spent the day at Evelina Children's Hospital with three other actors, performing stories the children on the ward had written to them at their bedsides. I got to be a giant bubble floating through the sky, a robot warrior, a naughty cactus, an Elven King, and plenty of other bizarre and amazing characters. It was such a wonderful and inspiring day; I really hope I can go back sometime and do it again. 
• In May, I made a brief appearance on CBBC's 'Vote for Me', a programme designed to engage children in democratic processes. I was doing a Shakespeare assembly in a primary school in Lewisham. I had a wooden sword. Next stop, fulfilling a life-long dream of being on Jackanory??

So, that was all the paid stuff (I think; I may have forgotten something). As a volunteer, I also did:

Talking to Yr6s in Lewisham about my wife

• Diversity Role Models - I've been volunteering as a 'Role Model' with DRM for four years now. They're such an inspirational charity, working tirelessly to prevent homophobic and transphobic bullying in schools. I've only volunteered in secondary schools in the past, but a few weeks ago was invited into a primary school to talk to the young people about being bisexual and my recent marriage, which was super fun and the children asked such brilliant and interesting questions.

One Yr6 child's promise after the workshop

Feedback from another Yr6 child

• Action Breaks Silence - this is such an amazing charity, working internationally to combat and prevent sexual and gender-based violence. I supported them in the development of their new programme for 7-11 year old boys, designed to build empathy and prevent abusive or violent behaviour in the future. Like them on Facebook if you want to watch the most AWESOME videos of small girls being empowered to kick the shit out of violent attackers!
• I helped make a Fun Palace in Streatham (and you should all make one where you live too next year!)
• Female Arts - continued as a reviewer for an online magazine focusing on female creatives
• Women's Equality Party - I started off as a volunteer Branch Maker (helping set up local branches across the UK) for this new and exciting political party, whose ambition of bringing gender equality to the mainstream political agenda is, I believe, hugely important and well overdue.  I spoke at the Youth Branches' first meeting (you can listen to it on Soundcloud) and am now supporting their education outreach group. I'm also planning on putting myself forward as a candidate for the GLA elections. Watch this space!

I think that's everything!! In other work-related news, I'm currently applying for funding for a PhD, and I'm also co-editing a book with Annie McKean (to be published next year) on the work of Playing for Time Theatre Company in HMP Winchester. I think January is going to be pretty full on.

The new year can be a good time to look back and reflect, as well as look forward and plan (as long as we haven't eaten too much cheese, spent too much time with family, and slip into a 'what am I doing with my life' panic!). Parts of this year have been truly amazing and other parts have been genuinely devastating; we never know what life is about to throw at us (sorry if I'm starting to sound like a motivational fridge-magnet) - so I only hope 2016 brings us some luck, a bit more money (being a grown up can be shit), and I keep getting the chance to work with amazing people in inspirational places. I'm going to keep stepping up...

Arts for All

Jennie Lee

Wednesday 25th February marked 50 years since Jennie Lee's white paper: A Policy for the Arts - First Steps. Lee was the arts minister in the 1964 Labour government of Harold Wilson, and it was the first (and is so far the only!) white paper that had been written on the arts. In it, she argues that the arts must occupy a central place in British life and be part of everyday life for children and adults, be embedded in our education system, recognised as an important industry, widely accessible, properly funded, and valued by society.

 

So, 50 years have passed. How far have we come? Mid February saw the publication of Warwick Commission's report on The Future of Cultural Value, which - although demonstrating that the arts are a significant contributor to the economy - also shows that arts and culture are being 'systematically removed from the UK education system'. Under our current government, the Education Secretary, Nicky Morgan, has said that 'Arts subjects limit career choices'; we've watched  Arts subjects being devalued, undermined and squeezed out of the curriculum, and at the same time provision outside of formal education reduced and dismantled due to funding cuts (from a regime of austerity which consistently harms the younger generation). As Paul Collard, Chief Executive at Creative Culture and Education, recently said:

'What is clear now is that young people, especially those in the less affluent areas, are not getting any opportunities at all, because arts... access for young people has been swept away. And it will only get worse.'

Cheerful reading. So, what shall we do? Make some noise! Make some art! DO SOMETHING! That was the call of Devoted and Disgruntled, spear-headed by Stella Duffy. With a twitter handle #ArtsPolicy50 ready to go viral (which, YAY, on 25/02/15 it DID!), the mission was clear: mark the anniversary; let people know why you think it's important; make a fuss.

I think it's important, so I celebrated, discussed and responded with two groups I was working with that week: a group of adults in recovery from various forms of addiction, who I do Creative Writing with at The Living Room, and a group of young migrant/refugee teenagers in South London, who I do Drama with for Attic Theatre Company. 

With my group at The Living Room, I decided to challenge both them and myself, and worked with them to write a group villanelle. A villanelle is a poetic form that is supposed to be one of the very hardest to write, and I thought this would not only give my group a lift, knowing how capable and talented they are, once we had written one, but would also be a nice way of demonstrating that a community group, gathered together for the purpose of recovery (rather than because they had chosen to attend an arts-based class) could be damn creative, that the arts could be of value to ANY community. And they did bloody well, so I'm going to let their work provide all the evidence I need....

Arts for All

We feel as if we're up against the wall,

This generation is under duress.

Art is for everyone. Art is for us all.

So we shall answer our heart's secret call

With a tight grip or with a sweet caress.

We feel as if we're up against the wall.

We know we're got the gumption and the gall

The talent, deep inside us, to impress.

Art is for everyone. Art is for us all.

It's not as if the order's very tall,

We're tired of giving more and getting less.

We feel as if we're up against the wall

From Cornish coast up to remote Rockall

We will push for proper, fair access.

Art is for everyone. Art is for us all.

Inside our schools and every village hall.

Fifty year's since Jennie Lee's address,

We feel as if we're up against the wall.

Art is for everyone. Art is for us all.

Before they left, many of them said they had felt 'lifted' by the experience, that they were 'proud' of what they'd achieved, that they felt 'lighter', 'invigorated', that they'd had 'fun'. Arts for all. It does matter.

Then on the day itself, I ran our Drama group with my colleague, Rob Lehmann, at SCOLA, with the young migrants. Many of the students have very little English, and come from all across the globe. Some have come from war-torn countries, some have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, most are in foster care. All agreed the arts are a fundamental part of their lives. We we had some fun, took some photos, and celebrated the importance of the arts in all of their lives. 

Tell Me on a Monday

I've just started running a project, organised by St Albans Arts, at The Living Room (addiction recovery) and at Mind, and just had some super lovely feedback. Thought I'd be very un-British (talking about things we're proud of rather than the weather, urgh!) and share it with you:

'I wanted to say thank you for the impact you’ve had on the group at TLR, Kate. D-- (counsellor) is full of the great work you are doing with the group when I come in on Wednesdays, S-- tells me that it is a joy listening to the animated stuff going on and how you are engaging zest and enthusiasm (there has been little in many of their lives) but most of all I heard from the group themselves this morning. I asked a simple question – how did it go with Kate yesterday? The people who were at the workshop yesterday spoke about the work they had done for 15 mins – I heard about love and candles with flickering flames and grandfathers carrying children on their shoulders and ….. it was also said in a respectful and appreciative way that is even more significant than the actual words.  You really have made a big impact and I’m only sorry I cannot sit in on Tuesdays myself...'

Welling up.

Facilitate (said in the 'exterminate' voice)

Here I am, facilitating. With the fan heater pointed directly at me. And biscuits on the table. I know how to work.

There is also an errant ironing board, which has nothing to do with me. I don't iron my own clothes (nothing wrong with the shake and 'hand-iron' rub), let alone facilitate domesticity in others. For that sort of thing, indeed to make it easy (sophisticated pun on the etymology of the word FACILE-itate), I'd be better off handing over to my good friend, Lotta Quizeen.

She even knows how to fold a fitted sheet. And since I'm moving in with my girlfriend this week - and apparently the bed is not an acceptable place to leave a cereal bowl, who knew - I might be in serious need of some tips from Lotta, in the 'rituals, responsibilities and realities of domesticity'. The beautiful Miss Fox not only has high standards, but also has an impressively popular blog (it's a good thing I'm not competitive, she lies) as a platform for mocking me. Might need to up my game. And stop looking confused when she mentions cleaning products I've never even heard of, let alone knew you needed a special product to clean whatever it is she's brandishing. I wonder if Lotta does home visits?

Feedback

Everyone needs a little confidence boost sometimes. I certainly needed one this week - not due to work, just life-stress. And this fitted the bill perfectly:

I come for the educating, I stay for the compliments!

These general feelings of self-worth were also aided by the fact that two of my recovering addicts group on Monday skipped their one-to-ones to come to my session, feeling it would be more beneficial. I love my sessions at CRI (Crime Reduction Initiatives) - the adults in recovery are so insightful; I learn so much from them, and always appreciate their honesty, humour and integrity. I also laugh so much at some of their stories. And when they finish a session by saying:

 'I didn't want to come today, cos I thought it was going to be shit and not for me, but actually...it was alright, y'know'

 'This is the first time I've made eye contact with anyone in the group and I've been here two weeks'

 'I haven't laughed this much in ages; it's great just to be a kid again, or maybe for the first time, cos I never got to be a kid much when I was one'

 or

 'I'm going to play this game with my little boy on his next visit - I think he'd like it'

there is no feeling like it. What can I say, I'm a junkie for this shit. I need it. I love it. I want more. So I keep doing my workshops, and yes, sometimes people walk out or don't turn up, but when they do, my god they can astound me.